Response From Annie

I have received a response via e-mail from Annie. she has sent the following in response to my script.

Hi Alex

This is very speedy and a very good script – impressive!

In general, it works well as a film script, but I'd like you to focus more on the landscape – think more about how the streets look that he walks down – could he go through a park? What's the sound? What else does he see? Think about creating an atmosphere, rather than showing the delivery of the papers. At this stage (for this film) I am less interested in the other people that he delivers to. This film should be only about the atmosphere and the woman. There's a very funny line about dirty magazines – it's nicely timed, but I think you should use him and his internal voice as a narrative force rather than the aspect of 'the other boy's round', as this is explored in the major project.

Sorry, I'm typing this quickly as I have a meeting, but what I'm trying to communicate is that you should put visual/aural atmosphere and emotional response to the woman first, rather than details of the paper round.

I hope this helps. Let me read another draft when you have one.

Annie

I have started writing a new script that fits Annie's suggestions and hope to have a finished draft that my group can work on very soon.